To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
