I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
someone threw a dead crab at me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Come see our sink grown plant.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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Randomize
