Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
