I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
