Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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