Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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