So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
