awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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