you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
