he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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