Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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