the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
