Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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