when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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