he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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