What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize