Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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