I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
