Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
