My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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