omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
