think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
