It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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