I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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