Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
