Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
