God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Randomize
