Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
