She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
