I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm at about main and main street
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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