There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
