So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I would fuck him just for his dog
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