Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
