Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
