Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
