Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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