my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
