The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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