no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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