i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
are you so shy because you have an std?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
