wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize