Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
