I hate your face
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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