Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
