i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I understand Curling. That high.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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