we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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