Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize