Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
