I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
