Girls should come with a carfax report
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
