going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
