i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
