how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
