my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
