He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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