So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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