Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
