I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
