Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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