Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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