Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
