well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
