At least make sure they are 18
Why
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
