Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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